Expectancy and Expectations — http://thegodjourney.com/2009/12/11/expectancy-and-expectations

I remember when we first started this whole podcast thing, we just came up with the name God Journey. Some people didn't like it. I think it's perfect. This is not about me. This is not my journey. I am a supporting actor in a greater drama that's going on. This is about him. Thinking outside the box isn't about whether you go to a meeting or not. It's about breaking free of the obligations of religious performance and living in the adventure of a relationship with God as our Father. You know guys, talking about life, that's good data. Slinging freedom all over the place and making no apologies, this is the God Journey. I'm Wayne Jacobson. And I am Brad Cummings. And we are future tripping yet again. Yeah, you're off somewhere in Brazil. I will have been. You will have been. Oh, I love the present participle language. I will have been or whatever that is. I will have been to Brazil. Future participle things. Win this heirs. Yes. But at this point I have not gone yet. Those of you that tune in for a Brazil report. I've done a quick jump to Nashville and back. Have you? And it went great. It was good. It was great. Every time you do this I hear from people in Nashville, why does Brad not ever tell us he's coming to Nashville? Because I got way too many appointments in two few days. I try to only go there as short as I can. I know people are going to feel rejected. I sleep two hours a night and I meet tons of different stuff. I don't know why people send me this stuff. I really don't need more pain in my life. But someone sent me this. Did you miss this? And then keeps slinging the freedom around. And I gather it's an excerpt from a Sunday morning bulletin. It says, 2020-10, the beginning of something new is the theme of our fall, 2009 stewardship emphasis that culminates in commitment Sunday on November 8th. One of the special moments of the year is what's our unity Sunday worship on October 25. And we demonstrate our belief that we are all one in Christ. I don't know how they did that. That would be interesting. Our 2020 vision team along with the elders and program staff are prayerfully developing long range objectives for our HCC, which began in 2010. It's like a corporate report. We're not going to start now. We're going to wait until 2010 to have anything new happen. But this is where it's really sad. It says we are challenging ourselves to do extraordinary things, do something great for the kingdom of God. And we've talked about that being not a great way to go. It all starts however with us, emphasis. It all starts with us. Commitment Sunday on November 8 will give you the holy privilege of bringing our commitment cards to the altar, indicating our financial intention to support God's work for 2010 through our church family. As we bring our cards forward, it also proves our desire to put God first in our lives. And then you get the Matthew 633 thing. We make ... I need to take a shower. I didn't even like this kind of talk when I was there. I really didn't. Now, if you look back and you go, wow, exploitive. Our holy privilege to put God first by the number you put on your financial commitment card. Oh boy. Got to tell you, not a fan of that stuff. Don't send me that stuff. Man, we don't need a holy bulletin crud. Man, that's just manipulative talk. I liked it when I heard one time just said from ... somebody sent me an announcement on time. Finally, guilt-free Sundays. And you know what it's about? They start a Saturday night service. Honey, I like that. Yeah, maybe. It's funny in a tragic comedy-signal kind of way because it's still guilt. Well, it has a measure of honesty to it, which is a start. You can unload it. You gotta start there. Unload your guilt Saturday night so you can enjoy Sunday. You know, I think what is such a tragic bummer about all that is how do you not end up feeling on the treadmill under the microscope that someone else's judgment and validation and the way you're going to prove yourself is the Jerry Maguire show me the money. And you're just going like, okay, that really is the only validator there to that sense of vision and it starts with us and commitment Sunday and it's just like ... Bring your money commitment to the altar and now I'll show you put God first. I mean, it's like, wow, when Jesus showed up at the temple and this sold kind of money change and thing, that's one of the few times you kind of see wonderful little happy-go-lucky laughing Christ, a little ticked off. A little bit. A little bit. That'll get me a whooping head on to the temple, hey, overturn some tables somewhere. Yeah. Like how do you go from that sense of the life of Christ that seems to be able to see through the crowd to the one person that's hurting that in the midst of the disciples, you know, trying to keep the children around and he's going like, no, no, no, no. How do you go from that guy to that bulletin? I'm really, honestly, I don't think I was confused years ago when perhaps I was building the bridge. You were building the bridge to nowhere? Yeah. But I sit here today and just go like, gosh, that just feels light years in its irrelevance to the relevance of who he is in our lives. That's true. But this is about fundraising. This is ... But under the guise of spirituality and advancing as kingdom and this is how we do it and here's our vision and here's our expression and here's how you prove it. Here's the deal about fundraising. You don't care what your tactic does to the people who aren't listening or who aren't going to follow it, who don't have the money, who can't do it. What you do fundraising for and fundraising that is in America, we've seen this with Bridge Builder stuff, you raise funds in America by raising fears. This appeals to fear too. This appeal is about your fear of your status with God if you don't give enough money. Even only 2% of the people actually send money, you've inculcated that fear in every person who read the letter. But you don't care about the fear you've left people with. All you care about is getting the 2% or 3% return. The fact is you'll raise more money with an announcement like this and a campaign like this than you will if you just said to people, hey, give whatever God puts on your heart. I will. That's true. And that's why when you got up to give that offering on Sunday I was sitting in your deal and you were telling people, you know, give if you want to hear, but you know what? If God's put other people on your heart, you know some of it's in need. Don't put your money in this offering. Take it and give it to them. I went, okay, you can get fired soon. And you were right. Some of the places I speak at, you know, on Sunday morning, I love when I hear that they're going to take an offering. Again, there are lots of people that put a box in the back. You can give freely, which I like. And then other people, it's got to be an act of worship. So it's got to be in the worship. The fact is, if you pass a play, you'll take more money in than if you don't. But I like the guys, and I've heard this quite a few times where guys say, if you're visiting with us today, please feel no obligation to this plate coming past you. It's just not for any people who are regular here, who are part of what we're doing and want to be a part to give what God puts on their heart to give. Okay, that's pretty generous. But still, it's an offering plate and there's a guilt factor that goes with that coming by you. If you don't put something in, there's a sense of everybody's looking to see if you are. I mean, that's why that works. That's why it gets to that. It's not about what is the negative impact it's having on some. It's just, we got to do this to meet the budget, to do the great things for God. We got to do next year. I did a handful of meetings in Germany a number of years back and one of the ones that's there is like, you know, they wanted me to take up the offering and it's like, I didn't need the offering and that's not for me. And I don't really, I'm not, I'm not here to the dog and pony show to say, well, now here's how I get my paycheck out of this. And I said, hey, I do not need anything. And so if you want to give, I think there's maybe something wonderful that you can do together in this city and let's set these resources aside for that. But I'm not going to take any of it. And you can see the organizers like, I mean, just their jaws dropped like, yeah, well, it was one of the largest offerings they've ever had. And the sad reality is the aftermath out of it is all the different leaders that came together for those set of meetings. All they could do is fight about the money afterwards. I was my first. And I just said to you, I'm like, oh man, you saw in people a sense of we're not being manipulated and we're not resistant to want to do something. And we do recognize it takes some resources. So they responded with a sense of that's neat. And then what you have out of the, and I think that's, that's the real problem I have with the whole institutionalization of what's going on is because it's like, you know, everyone's arguing over how they meet their mortgage. And this is their sustenance for that. And it's like, guys, I'm not sure that's a helpful reality when this is what's going on in people's hearts and they're wanting to engage. And you're just treating them as if they're the means to your end. Yeah. The second Corinthians seven, eight, nine thing. Paul's talking about generosity begets generosity. And religion. This was so true of me when I lived inside the religious performance thing. I didn't live with a generous God. God was not generous. He was miserly. I mean, you had to beg Cajole to get anything out of God. It taught me that God is very stingy. And then that's, you get very grabby. When you live with a generous God, a generous father, that's the whole second Corinthians seven, eight, nine argument. When you live with a generous God, you're going to be generous with people who don't have what you have. You're going to, you're going to be generous. There's no reason not to be. But if you don't know God as generous, then you've got to be a little bit grabby and you've got to fight over stuff. And then money is, and the love of it is the root of all kinds of evil for sure. For sure. I wanted to ask you a question. You did. And I have no idea what you, where you're going to go with this because. Okay. Oh boy. But I wonder in terms of, you know, because I think we've had a number of people ask as far as you was like, well, how, you know, how do you guys live your life? What's that look like? And is there anything that is on your horizon that you're really looking forward to? You're the guy that asked me, you know, hey, can you live with a sense of expectancy without packing it full of all these expectations? And when you first said that, I just had a brain crap going like, I have no idea how you do that. But I'm just curious, do you have something that, is there a vision? Is there a hope? Is there a sense like spiritually speaking when you look at the body that, that you have on your radar? Does that do anything for you? Is that important? Is that necessary? I don't know. I'm trying to sort out what that would actually mean because I, I, you know, I don't have any kind of specific hope that I'm going, I have this great hope. My greatest hope is Lord Jesus come quickly. I'm kind of on that page these days. I'd like to see this whole thing summed up at the end of the age. But, and I wouldn't mind that being tomorrow as a matter of fact, Thanksgiving would be an appropriate day for that. Oh, we're way past Thanksgiving. I forgot. I love the discussions in the family right now. I love what we talked about last podcast that people are talking about. Hey, what does community look like without the human effort having to manipulate its, its existence? So I'm excited to see what that conversation goes, but I don't have a thought as to what that's going to look like. In fact, I think that's going to look very, very different in different localities. I don't think there's an answer there for everyone to go implement. I think there's a process there that people are going to get to share together. I'm excited about seeing where that goes, but that's, that's very intangible to me. Right. I've been one into that space. I think over the last few years of, I really, I wake up every day and say, God, what's on my plate today? And just get that engaged. And somehow I think six months from now, a year from now, God's going to have to sort where he wants me to be. I, I've gotten pretty distrusting about my ability to get somewhere. So I don't even look where I'm going. I don't anymore, which is really different. I used to be the long-term strategist at it all. Right. I just after. There's the target. There's the triptych. Here's our plan. After 3,700 attempts, all of which never got to the first way station. I finally decided that wasn't the way to live this journey. So, When you got a verse like, you know, without vision, the people perish, what, what talked to me about that a little bit? In light of where you're sorting this stuff out. I look at that and I grew up in a context of, you know, vision, purpose and destiny. I mean, those were, that was like our mantra. That's how we pumped people up and it wasn't to hype. It was a sense of, you know, we had a little prophetic edge of here's what we believe God is said and it's a, here's a vision and it's inspiring and, you know, I don't want to poo poo that, but I recognize that was an engine that was revving people up and then it's like, if that didn't come to pass, talk about major setup for disappointment and there's always sense of, of looking for something and then it not happening. And so I resonate with that sense of, you know, I'm not real good at setting those things and achieving them. Yeah. So I resonate with that. But I also know that there's times when I don't have that sense of that, that spark of, yeah, Lord, I get that bigger picture and I'm drawn to that. I do, I do look at that verse which says, you know, where there is no vision that people perish. And I go, I, you know, I see a real measure of that is true, kept in balance of, I mean, I know you wake up and say, Lord, what's today? But is there something that, that, that your heart that you see, that you resonate with in terms of that verse? And no, I don't look at that verse the same way I used to. You know, I used to, we used to do that too, you know, without a vision that people perish, you got to stimulate this vision to do something. And that's always, it was always a something. Right. I go back to, you know, Paul talking about, this is God's will for you, your sanctification. If there's any, I have a sense every day that I live that I'm involved in God's unfolding purpose in my life. I don't think I've figured out where that goes next. I love the conversations I have. I love the exchanges I have with people. I love sitting down writing the next thing I want to write. I've had some time to do that last couple of weeks and that's been kind of fun. So I mean, I have a sense of purpose about everything I do. If that's what vision is, I have a sense of purpose unfolding in my life. And what would, what would you for Wayne Jacobson, not for the body of Christ, but for you, what would you define that as? When you say I have a sense that I, God's purpose is unfolded. At the risk of sounding too super spiritually stupid, I'm going to say to live loved and love. I'm going to say I want to grow in my ability to live loved and I'm loving how God is helping me learn to live loving other people. That's awesome. I don't think that's super spiritual. Yeah, but it's not, it's not, it's not even concrete. I mean, you still have all these concrete answers. Yeah, I got this book and I see God doing this and we're going to form this organization and I don't have any of that anymore. Right. Deliciously. I don't wake up to that garbage of having to make something happen and have a commitment Sunday to make it work. I just don't have that anymore. I don't love that. I just, I remember like four years ago, I forget whether we were having dinner or had lunch or something like that. But you made a comment that you said, you know, I love the space I'm in right now because I'm only doing things that I know the Father has initiated. There was a sense of a sense of simplicity and appreciation for my life isn't cluttered. It isn't all demanded. I'm really perhaps for the first time, I think you were commenting that I'm only doing the things that I see the Father doing and I sat there and I went, you know, I don't think I've ever, other than reading it in the Bible, I don't think I've ever heard someone say that with the sense of delight in the awareness of what that was. That was, that was a life on target that knew it and was deriving a sense of real satisfaction of knowing God's leading. And I came away from that a little bit jealous at the time and we're like, well, that's not my life. It's probably less true of mine now than it was when I said it three years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Because my life is very cluttered right now. The whole aftermath of the Shack experience and, you know, the aftermath of that living out some relational issues now, my life is very cluttered with things I find incredibly distasteful. So I am dealing with that. Yeah. That gets you up in the morning. Well. No, that wouldn't get me up in the morning. But is God's purpose unfolding in my life bigger than that garbage? Absolutely. And however the garbage sorts out, I'm still going to be engaged with Father's purpose unfolding in my life. That that is a greater I get that. I get that. than the frustration of the moment. Do you have a thing you're looking for up the road? I figured you'd turn it around. Yeah. I'll be rude. Yeah. I think the reality is I used to be a guy that is totally jonesing for revival. Like I was going to be the match strike make happen. And it's like all these plans. And it's like, I feel like God has wonderfully dashed all that. But, you know, that recent trip to Las Vegas and feeling like for, you know, you're going to plant a church in Las Vegas. No. For two, three days in a row. I saw a city that I expected to see with different eyes and something captured me. And that's, I've come home with that sense of different eyes. Yeah. And there's, there is a sense of going like, Lord, I see a bigger grander picture of something that you're up to. But what's different is I don't feel like I've got to be the match strike. I don't feel like I've got to be the orchestrator of the band to help make it happen. It's like there's some, there's some things that I'm doing with a handful of different people that I'm really excited in terms of the impacting of creative communities, storyteller kinds of people, you know, film, entertainment, folks that they really have a sense of God's call to create and, and, and communicate within that space. And without any effort of mine, there's a chance of being able to just shape some of how they're looking at that. And you're just going, Lord, I love that. I feel like that's part of what you're doing in me and without a whole lot of fleshly manipulation to try to make that happen or some any kind of, you know, self promotion, there's like there's a chance to feel like I felt like you're doing that. I feel like these things are coming together. You know, there's some stuff happening at my old university that I'm able to kind of help shape and you're just going like, I've had a 20 year desire to see some things happen there. And it's like the right people are now in place where they kind of said, you know, hey, I've known that. Why don't you come and let's let's actually make that happen. You're just going like, cool. Wow. So I mean, I have a real sense of excitement that I see God at work in things that I know are unique to what he's impassioned me for. But the difference is I'm not wearing it like a backpack that's weighing me down. And that's just a different space for me. And so there is a sense of, gosh, Lord, I see your activity and I am very excited. Me, perhaps even more so than when I was anxiously hungering for revival. You know, it's like all the prophetic dreams and all and it's like, well, great. I feel like there's some of that same energy back, but it's just in a different space. I'm going, gosh, Lord, this feels so much more enjoyable. Probably that was what you were after in the first place. I just the way I was processing it, it went helpful to me. It's back to that thinking of ourselves more highly than we got to think. I think so. It's not that I'm actually living a lot of the things I had vision for. I'm working on an article for New Body Life and I was dealing with some of that. I'm actually living some of the things I had dreams of 20 years ago or visions of or even longer, maybe back 40 years ago. I'm old, my gosh. And and none of those fulfilled the way I thought they would at the time or should or spent 20 years frustratingly trying to make happen. None of them did. Most of them have come to play in a way now that's just wonderfully fun and gracious and exciting. But what the difference is I don't think of myself as like you said, what's the match striker or whatever. I at the time I was the guy that was going to lead on. And now it's just I get a part to play. I don't mind playing my part. I don't mind doing what God asked me to do in the earth. But what God needs to do in the earth is 100 billion times bigger than Wayne Jacobson will ever be. And I'm at peace with that. And I love seeing that unfold in other people as well. Other people get their part. This manifold wisdom of God displayed to the church. That's just as simple as you're doing what God's put on your heart. I'm doing what God's put on my heart as he's transforming us with love. We're going to see more clearly what it is that he's about. And then what's in the creative arts community where you're involved in or you know, me hanging out with people are asking questions about how they live in this reality and intimacy and community. I'm all good with that. That's fun. Yeah. I just, you know, I think it's taken me a while. I don't even know that it's taken me a while. I love the fact that God has somehow drawn me to being able to live in that place that, yeah, I do. I carry a big sense of expectancy. I'm kind of like, Lord, you're up to something. Yeah. And I'm, I am really excited about that. Me. But I don't feel the burdened sense of that now means I must do this. It's like, there's a few things I know I'm supposed to do and I'm excited to do that. Yeah, it's me. And then there's a whole bunch of other stuff that you're like, well, yeah, I really wish I didn't have to do all that. Wish I was freer to do this. And, but there's a sense of going like, Lord, I trust you're going to help me sort that out and provide for the things I'm meant to do that are part of this really fun thing I see happening. And there, you know, I'd have to say for a season of time as I was, and maybe these are quote, the detox years, when you're sort of transitioning from, this is one way of how I lived life and it had a whole bunch of baggage with it. And then God's trying to get me in a little different perspective. There was time that I navigated through that. I just, I was lost. I really didn't have a sense of, are you doing anything? Everything that I thought was, you know, front and center. All of a sudden it's like, now I don't know where my bearings are. And I know that we get a bunch of different emails. I know that that's hard for people to navigate through that space where it's like, I don't have my firm moorings. And it's not that, you know, I question whether God is still God. It's like, no, no, it's like salvation issues. Never wavered there. But the reality of where's my place in all this? I do think that God allows our lives to get a little bit jumbled and then freed up. And then it takes a little while before it kind of lands and can engage with a renewed sense of putting my hand to the tasks he has for me that is good. Not the performance thing, but that sense of, it's like, work is not a four letter word to God. It's sort of like, we've been given work to do. Things that he's purposed before the foundation. Yeah, absolutely. And it's fun when you engage that. When you're engaged in something and know God's prepared for you. And it's not that I gotta be the king and it's not that, but it is. Boy, it's just fun to be alongside God in the things God's doing in the earth. That's really fun. Yeah, and to stumble upon those as far as like, gosh, Lord, when I was trying so hard, I missed all these. Now that I don't feel like I'm trying so hard, I can see them better. Yeah, and isn't that what Paul's talking about? He talks about not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think. Part of religion, when the lynchpin is us, this all depends on us. You really get this inflated view of how you fix into the universe, instead of. It becomes weird and warpable. It does. And the other thing that I hearing in your voice that I love, because I've just been exhausted by this of like, I think there's a freedom to have this expectancy about what God's about when you don't have an expectation of a certain outcome that it has to mean. Yes. Because when it fixes on an outcome, interesting juxtaposition of events a couple weeks ago, I got an email prayer request from a dear brother and sister, been friends of Sarah and mine for a long time. Their son was going to interview for a job he really wanted. And so would you please pray for us, Sonny? He's got a job interview today. And then it listed, pray for this, pray for, you know, favor for this, pray that his resume will be, and because, I mean, the whole prayer request basically is, he's got to have this job. This is what God wants. These are all the things that have to happen for that to happen. And I'm reading all that going, why? Why wouldn't you just pray, God, would you have your will in this event? And yeah, give him a clarity of heart and mind. So this may or may not be what you have for him. Why vest the prayer in the outcome in that same way? And then I was sitting with someone who's not as far on this journey as that couple is, as someone that, you know, freshly has kind of come back to the Lord in a recognizable way, grew up in some legalistic stuff, now coming back to it. And I was sitting down with her a few weeks ago, and she's going through an incredible, I mean, the economy's destroyed her business. It just, I mean, it's just sad. It's sad what our economy has done to that age group of people that was just kind of finding their way. And now they have to start all over. They got homes they can't afford and businesses that will no longer work in the current market. And so her whole life, and she has a thing going on. I say, I'm happy to pray about that for you. And she says, well, don't pray it will just come out good. We just pray that God's purpose will keep unfolding in it for me. Wow, that's a place of freedom. Yeah, I just take a deep breath. I just go, wow, that to me. And it's not, you know, have faith and, you know, move mountains if you're certain of the outcomes. And all that kind of, I don't think that's what it's talking about. I don't think I can imagine myself into God's gonna do it this way. And then it's gonna happen that way. I think when you really live inside of the revelation of the Father, you really are suspicious about every outcome you hope for. And that's not to say I don't have outcomes I hope for, I do. But I find less intensity about praying for that outcome. My heart is much more salted in, what are you doing in me through this? And if the outcome is the dead opposite of the thing I want, how are you still gonna glorify your name and unfold your purpose in me and be able to pray in that space if not invested in an expectation of an outcome? But just let God's purpose unfold. And to me, it seems like, well, that's pretty fatalistic. And I'm the least fatalistic person I know. Yeah, I was gonna say I don't hear what you're saying as fatalistic because, because our response is shape what happens down the road. They do. I'm not the lynchpin in it, but if I'm just gonna sit on my couch and be be be be be be be all day. Yeah, that whole lot's gonna happen. I'm not gonna be engaged in the things God's doing, but to hear what God's about and to be in it and to watch circumstances change in ways that aren't what you wanted and aren't what you hoped for. And then if God's glory is only invested in your desired outcome, one, you've got to skip a whole lot of the New Testament, which says God's glory is also and there's a fellowship in his suffering. There's a fellowship of his life. It doesn't make it to a whole lot of refrigerators. When things suck. Yeah, but that is. When things suck. But that's also part of this journey and part of God's unfolding grace. And so it's not to say to have not have expectations of outcome is not to say I don't care about outcomes. I care. And I know my response can help shape those if I'm living the way God wants me to live rather than competing for lines. But I know you should be an incredibly intentional person. You're not a case or a sera. There's a lot of intent, but you only seem to have a lot of intent when you have a sense of clarity of what it is. My intent is always the next act of obedience. It's never what that obedience produces. Say that again because I think that is a big deal. Well, my intent is just to do what God's put on my plate next. It's my I'm very intentional about the people I love. Even God, who do you want me to be walking with right now where I live in Newbury Park? What what relationships am I pursuing? I'm very intentional about all that. And I'm not at all intentional about the outcomes of those things because not all of those things bear the fruit. I'd hope they'd bear. And because some of that has to do with the responses of other people. Other people don't respond to an invitation into a relationship. I don't make it happen on my own. I'm gonna go beat your door down and go and relate to me, you moron. That's what God's called me to. I'm gonna open the door. I'm gonna keep myself available. I'm gonna knock on yours once in a while. I'm not gonna harass you to death. I got people now that have got their books and they've written their books and they're trying to get their books out. And they think we've got the answer now because the mega best seller and how does my book get to be a best seller? And I'm going, do you even want your book to be a best seller? Do you know what that'll do to your life? You have no idea what that'll do to your life. I can tell you what that'll do to your life now. I can tell you exactly what that will do to your life. The reality is I've never written a book to promote it. I never have. I've written books cause God's put on my heart to you. I gave them to publishing companies and times past hoping they would. Never seen them do it in a way that made sense. I now believe that real fruitfulness comes out of the slow organic growth of reality. My life touches a life, that life touches another life. I keep saying along, the people I know who best live this journey have not written books, do not go on speaking tours. They live loved and love in the community they're in and God expands their influence as he desires. And I think the worst thing in the world is to be caught in that trap of, I now have to promote myself to do what God wants done in the earth. And I look at people who want to do it now and I've just, I say, you know, I've never done that. I've never done it with anything. That's made me a lousy partner with the publishing industry. I get that. When I was back with publishing companies in times past and they wanted me to, you know, hype my book in every speaking thing that I'm doing. And I was going, I'll talk about what's in it that's valuable if folks want to get it great. I've always trusted that my books will go as far as God wants them to go. And I'm a piece with that. When the naked church sold 10,000 copies, I still get emailed. This is 1987. And it's a pretty angry book still back in the day. And I wouldn't have all the answers in it that I would want it. I've rewritten it since then. But I still get emails from somebody in Rwanda who read the book in 1989 and it shaped their journey or South Africa or a guy in a hospital bed in Wales, in the UK. And in the middle of a heart attack over a painful church situation and that helped heal his soul. And I said, gosh, was the naked church a publishing failure in its day? Absolutely, it was. In every way you could measure. Except that it did sell out the 10,000s. I guess that's good. I mean, at least it didn't lose the company any money. But did God still put it in the hands of the people He wanted to? And that's where I'd step back and say, life is really about us being intentional about doing what God wants of us. The results and outcomes are all in His hands. And I've never been more at peace with that than I know. Yeah, there's a freedom there because I don't have to make it happen. I can do the thing that is clear. I can do the thing that is in my heart to do. But I don't have to push it beyond that. And then somehow demand, well, no, that's what God promised. I mean, I think the biggest realm of shipwreck that I see in people's lives are when they take their hopes and desires and they add God said on it. It's like, you know what? I'm not sure He did. It's fine to hope for that. It's fine to want that, but hold it loosely because maybe God isn't going to answer it like that because perhaps what He's after is something a little different. You know, it's like the things that when it talks about, you know, God works all things together for good. Okay, well, read on please. For those who are called according to His purpose, what is that purpose? That we be conformed into the image of His Son. So God is it working all things? Yes, down for that. To work them out for good? Yeah, what is that good? My transformation into the image of His Son. And His purpose unfolding in the earth, which we don't have a clue about. Is there something that could happen in your life that God couldn't use to transform you more into the image of His Son? I conclude, no. That could be the betrayal of a friend. That could be a dashing of your hopes. That could be a game-winning wonder. But the reality is, whether it's that glorious thing that makes me feel so great or whether it's a painful challenge that I've got to walk through, God is at work for my good to transform me. And that's all good. It is all good. And I think one of the leg sweeps on our whole prayer to no expect outcome is one of those glorious verses in Ephesians 3 where it talks about God's gonna do exceedingly, abundantly beyond anything you could ask or even imagine. That already says what you have in mind, particularly when we take a promise of God and imbue it with Wayne's selfish ambition or vain conceit. Now I've got something I'm hoping God does that isn't at all what He wants to do. His, I would say that about, like I said, I had all these disappointed visions and expectations from my youth. Incredible frustration, 20 years trying to get God to fulfill them. I now live in the space where God has fulfilled them in ways incredibly different than I ever imagined. I wouldn't trade this for any of the old things Wayne thought of. That's what does the leg sweep on expectation. God has fulfilled it. And yes, through incredible pain and still pain today. It's, I don't live a pain-free existence. There's a lot of cost. I'm not sure those exist, but. There's a lot of cost to live the way I live. People look at the travel and the writing. Oh, I'd love to do what Wayne does. And I get that. I have a lot of fun doing what I do. There's a lot of cost to what I do. There's a lot of pain in what I do. And people don't see that side of it. And I'm not frustrated by that because I live inside that with him. The fellowship of his suffering is all good. It's good too. Paul's getting shipped it. Paul talked to all the time, but all the crud that happened to him, he's not doing what God wanted him to do. So no, we're not promised it's gonna be great, easy. People gonna love you, do nice things for you. No, this journey sucks sometimes. Some days it just sucks big time. It really does. But God's unfolding mercy in it is just outstanding. Yeah. And that's worth doing. You know, before we go, I was hoping we'd talk about something today because we'll get it next time. Or maybe not, we'll get it up to the road. But I really wanna let people know that a couple of audio things that I did down in South Africa answers some of the best questions people have asked me coming out of, particularly those who've listened to transitions or listened to and loved me. So I put those up free on the website. I'm not selling anything here. I'm not selling a new DVD or CD of any kind. They wanna ask, what is the essence of the gospel? And the second one is a real, how do we interpret the God of love from the Old Testament? How do we review that? I know we've discussed that sometimes here, but that's, it was a couple of those things that I did when you're doing them, you're just saying, wow, this is better than I normally do this stuff. This has got, I think these are the moments when Jesus turned to Peter and said, wow, flesh and blood hasn't revealed that to you, but my father never. We put those up so just people can listen to those. And I would really love to talk about some of the responses I've got to both of them. Cause it really invites us to think about who the Bible was written for anyway. Was it written for hungry hearts or was it written for complacent ones? And I think we'll explore that. Wow. But we're out of time today. People are gonna miss their bus stops. A cliff hanging question for next week. Well, it's actually gonna be three weeks away for us, but we'll get to it. But it will be next week. If we do it. I may come back from Brazil with something else on my heart or you may have something on yours. So I'll have a good break. You too. Enjoy your trip to Nashville and we'll see you on the backside. Thank you for joining us today on The God Journey. If you'd like to participate in the conversation, you may do so at our website, TheGodJourney.com.