Tuning Into Him — http://thegodjourney.com/wordpress/2008/10/17/tuning-into-him/

It's now time to think outside the box of what we've always known. I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the sovereign Lord. I think that's a profound turning point in somebody's relationship with God. And our hope in starting this was that this would become an ever-expanding conversation. Just two real guys talking about life. That's a nice tagline. I'm Wayne Jacobson. And I'm Brad Cummings. And welcome to another edition of The God Journey. The God Journey. You don't like that? No, I love that. That's amazing. You call it a monkey toy? That's a monkey toy. That's something. It's like Rafiki. That's marvelous. That's good stuff. I don't know. I don't know how to market that. I'm stalling. Look at you. Yeah. They're untapped talents in you, Mr. Jacobson. This is pretty amazing. Oh, they're not untapped. They're just unpaid for. Oh, okay. Unexploited talents in you. There you go. That's pretty marvelous. It could be that. We're going back to back here. We just might have lost in the last week another, I don't know, 15,000 points from the stock market, huh? No, not 15,000. There's only 9,000 left in there. I know, but I'm just saying it could go negative. There's some inherent value. We're resetting back to the, yeah, we don't know. My gosh, another week we could have a new dictator of the U.S. We could have... Well, we may have this next election. It's not good. It's not good. I won't go there. It's an interesting email in the last little bit. Okay. I was listening to an older podcast today, the one that's not about church. Uh-huh. And I was listening. I finally came up to the all-important question asked, especially here in the South, where do you go to church? We've been outside the organized church for about 15 years. We are home. And when you try to give a simple answer to that question, we get the response, oh, a home church. Well, yes, but not in the sense they mean it. But I think I have a new answer. When, where do you go to church? Well, that changes from day to day, even sometimes changes during the day. It'll be interesting to see God trying. It'll be interesting where people try to put that in a box. They're just going to do that half-cock-eyed little dog whistle frequency, cock their head to the side and go like, huh? Changes from day to day and even sometimes changes during the course of the day. Where do you go to church? Interesting thought here. I love this one. I think you'll enjoy this from Cedric in South Carolina. I have really been enjoying the podcast and I thank you and Brad for your openness and willingness to share your thoughts. I feel as if I have been drowning in a sea of works for many years, unable to get to the surface. My lungs have been burning to inhale fresh air, but instinctively knowing it was not possible. Over the last few weeks, Jesus has come alongside me as a rescue diver with an oxygen tank. Oh, thank you, Jesus. Out of panic, I have tried to kick free and help myself, but just as well-trained rescue diver Jesus hasn't... He has a firm grip on me and is guiding me slowly to the surface. I long for the day when we break the surface and I am able to fully inhale the fresh air of an unconditional love relationship with Him and relax in it without any guilt. Boy, that does sound good, doesn't it? Oh, yeah. I mean, that is the salvation inhale. He says this, I think I can see the rays of sunlight breaking the surface and the hope that was once within me is beginning to build again. Jesus is really doing a wonderful work in me as the veil is coming off my eyes and able to see how performance-driven my relationship with the Lord has been for many years. The joy of my relationship with Him is returning and I am sensing His leading again. It is amazing how clear His leading is when we relax in our relationship with Him. I have spoken with more people about my relationship with the Lord in the last three weeks than I did outside of church in the last three years. There's no manipulation or motives in my speaking with Him. It just somehow comes up. When I was initially saved, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my back. Over the years, the weight had gradually been added back one brick at a time through required services and other obligations. It's a wonderful feeling to have my relationship with Jesus growing and the obligations fading away. No longer part of the chain gang. Isn't that good stuff? It is good stuff. Yeah, you talk about people being in various points of the process. My lips around an oxygen tank. I can see light at the surface. That's a great place to be. I'm not breathing deep and full yet, but I'm getting there. You know, the last time we were down in Cabo, Kelly and I did have a chance to go scuba diving for the day. Yeah? Have you ever scuba dive? Never. Oh, dude, you got to learn. I snorkel. I'm a snorkel. You know, I'm not a snorkel. Snorkels are good. You need a snorkel. Get a snorkel. They don't know what that means. They don't know why I'm laughing. I just like seeing you. But you do. I do. Give us a call. That's very funny. At 555. For snorkeling. Yeah. You went scuba diving. We went scuba diving. Why don't you go to Cabo? Why can't you just, you know? Because it's nice down there, dude. It's amazing. Never been. We'll bring it. It's great. We'll go to Cabo. I don't think I've ever been invited. Let me think. Okay, you can come. In December, we're going. You can come. Oh. So we're down to Cabo. Contact my attorney. I hadn't. Thank you. I hadn't been scuba diving in years. But I'm still certified. So my certification is still valid. But you're just going like, Okay, so I know how to do this. We start to. It's how people die. We start to descend. And it's like, you just go like, Wait a minute. I don't know how to do this. It was terrible. I mean, I'm trying to go down. And I'm just realizing. And Kelly's certified? Kelly's certified, too. And she's already down. Enjoyed it. Oh, she's having a great time. I mean, I was like an idiot on the surface. But I'm trying to go down. And you're just going like, Okay, but there was something in me that was just sort of panicking. The whole idea of going like, I'm trying to breathe. And you don't want to suck out all your, your, your oxygen to click. Go through your tank. We're going out for a long time. You definitely don't want to end before your wife. Right. And so, and I'm just going like, Okay, because all of a sudden my heart started racing. And I didn't have a sense of how to go under. And it's that sense of surrender. We're just going like, You're not doing anything different. You're breathing, but you have to breathe. If you hold your breath, that's bad. That's not good. That's not good. And I was having the hardest time going under, going like, I'm always used to holding my breath. And now I'm not supposed to hold my breath, but I'm going under. And it, it, it one is, it's one of those disorienting moments where you're just going like, Why is this so hard? And it, it's all about having, learning to relax into it. I honestly believe there's a wonderful analogy in terms of a life that's being led by the spirit. You cannot do this holding your breath. You got to do this with all the things that you know to do, but all of a sudden you're going to do this in a different enabled medium where it's not by your strength. You're still breathing. You're still doing all that same stuff. But if you can relax into it, the Holy Spirit does have abilities that he can bring you into. Okay, this is counterintuitive now. We're talking about getting to the surface and now the whole analogy is changing. I'm sorry. Get to the bottom. So yeah, but it's, it's the whole thing, being able to live in a different environment where it's like, you know what? I, I love people, not because I'm trying to be a real good Christian, but I love people because there's an actual love inside me that I'm feeling that I'm reveling in because I know it's not just really coming from me. I've, I've, I've tasted those moments where you're just going like, gosh, Lord, my normal self, my little flesh guy, he normally reacts really poorly in these situations. And then I've noticed in different times you're just going like, gosh, I actually have different feelings, different emotions. And it's been so exciting to sit back and look, how in the world did you conquer that, Jesus? You're giving me an ability that I, by myself, do not possess. Yeah. And I just think life is, a spirit-enabled life is so much fun. I mean, people that have never gone scuba diving and then you get a scuba diving fanatic that's trying to convince someone else to get into the water, they're totally frightened. Oh no, oh no, you gotta go, this is so many. I mean, it's, one of the three worst fights Sarah and I ever had was standing on the Children's Beach in Hawaii and I was, we were going to snorkel together and I was underwater, all these fish and big turtles and I come up and Sarah's standing there in the water and I'm going, what are you doing? I don't want to put my face in the water because she really, she does have, she's always had this fear of putting her face in the water and I'm going, but it's so beautiful to put your face in the water. And she, I'm scared. And I'm like, so, I was obnoxious, I was horrible, it almost ruined our entire marriage because it was, if you don't put your face in the water and just get over it and you know, if you got the fear, you just tried to tell your woman to man up. It was not a good moment. I pray she doesn't hear this part. I'm truly sorry for how I treated you that day standing in Waste Deep Water of the Pacific Ocean. But the last time I had that feeling of going, oh boy, I don't, I don't know how to do this anymore. It was a couple of Sundays ago. I was invited to speak to this, you know, 1200 folks in this fellowship over two different gatherings in this big stage, lights on the stage, you've got the wireless mic hanging over my ear like the rock star. And what they call worship is getting to an end and I'm going, I don't know how to do this. That is awful. I don't know how to do this. I don't really want to do this. Oh, if I could have been there. How did I get, so I slapped on my snorkel and no, I just went up front and I'm going, it is what it is. And, you know, so I got cheered out by the lighting guys afterwards. What, you moved out of the lights? Yeah, I moved downstage where I could see the people I was talking to. Oh, they want you blinded. I'm standing in the lights. I can see no one past the first two rows. And you know how many people in the first two rows? Zero, not a. I'm looking at an empty chair. So I moved, I found there's one place on stage I could see everybody. The lights are there. I said, yeah, but I couldn't see people. Yep. When you moved over there, they couldn't see you. I think it's more important for me to see people. Oh, horrible. Anyway, one of those times I got this from Greg. This is a lovely thing. He says, Greg, here's where it got good for me. The religious me would have spiraled into despair. But I immediately went the other way. I had a surgery to remove a tumor followed by radiation and now chemotherapy. Here's the deal. The Lord immediately scooped me up and is carrying me in my family. I feel so firmly seated in God's love in that indescribably wonderful place in Romans 8 1 where there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. He has radically blessed me with new understanding of His grace and mercy. This is a God to love because He first loved me. He's a great God. I love to say, hallelujah. It's great. Chemotherapy, radiation, removing a tumor. Cancer, the big C, is what absolutely terrifies most people. I'm known the love of God in the middle of it. Perfect love casts out fear. That's awesome. That's what we were talking about last week. That whole idea of He's enough and not just, I've got to mentally think He's enough, but when you're in stuff like this He is enough. God makes Himself known and I think God does. What's that for me? I don't know what to say. I think He does do it for us. We're just missing it. That's the whole purpose, I think, of what I write in this podcast is to help people who aren't seeing it. I want them to see it. It's not like it isn't happening for them. I don't believe that. I just believe they're missing it because somehow their minds wrapped around some expectation or minds wrapped around some other kind of condemnation thing. I go through the treatment and not have one sense of I must have done something wrong to deserve this. That's a liberty. I don't know how else you would go through something like that but with that kind of grace-enabled response that just says, you know what, a lot of people who try to go through it differently. That's like white-knuckling life. That just, that sucks. That's what we were taught, wasn't it? We're taught if you don't, if you're going through something like that it's your job and it's payback time. I know. I think of the letter that you read that that nurse bringing that guy. Well, that's what you got. He's passing the kidney stone. Yeah, I think that's absolutely tragic and horrible. But it is that sort of mindset that you got your comeuppance and it's like, I don't think so. And this from Bill in Oregon, I read the Shack earlier this year then picked up So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore was one of the best books I'd read in ages. I'm assuming he means better than the Shack. So for all of you people... Does that work well for you? So all of you people who have copies of the Shack and don't have copies and I know there are a few million of you. Here you go. You're now sponsoring this particular podcast. Okay, I'll be paying for it. I have been listening to the podcast while driving and find them refreshing and just fun. You guys have put into words what I've been stumbling around trying to explain to people what they're in contact with. Though I find that many just cannot separate themselves from trying to keep God happy with them. I know you've gotten a lot of heat in the evangelical world. I think that is an indication that your message has made many of those in that world a bit nervous. Maybe. Just mad. People worry about whether we're feeling too picked on by folks in the arsenal. No, I got so much heat in my heart. People send me some really disgusting blogs about me doing with this. I didn't know about it. I didn't see it until you sent it to me. But I still find... I'm still fine. I'm not living in condemnation. I tell you, I just want people to know the freedom in life that's in Christ. But you know, the freedom to not need the validation and the approval of others. I love the fact that people are enjoying the podcast. I love the fact that wherever that, they're kind of like, okay, so I'm not the spawn of Satan. I've never had that thought. I mean, I love the fact that people are feeling like, wait a minute. Just because the system dynamics are not working for me and I'm vibrantly pursuing Jesus over here, I wish there wasn't the need for a podcast to validate that. You know, I... Wow. That's the whole reason for the podcast. Whatever. Whatever. Maybe the holy whatever. That's great. But the reality is, I love the fact that there's people that are finding life and they're recognizing, no, I'm not alone. But even if you were... Can we find a place between validation? Oh, gosh, I'm glad I'm finally right. Or, and people just saying, ooh, I'm not alone. I hope we're doing the, ooh, we're not alone kind of podcast. Or the, oops, I'm all alone, but I'm with him. And so what's it matter? There you go, I'll go with that, too. Because I do think it's like... I don't want to... I don't enjoy making other people mad or being so iconoclastic or anti-systems and institutions or I'm just going to diss them all. That's not the point. It's the fact that, you know what? We'll just try speaking in one. I'll go blank. I don't do that, dude. I gave that up for a while. It's been a while. So in that dynamic, it's more like, it's not all things are relative, but for me, I'm relating to a Jesus who isn't drawing me into that place. It's interesting, I was at a gathering a little while back, and there was a bunch of, you know, big ministry leaders. Sunday morning guys? No. But it was honoring someone who's been central in all of our lives. And that was sort of just the excuse to bring everyone together. But I'm the only guy that's like the free-range believer. Was that Benny Hinn? No. You need a snorkel. No. But I was with those people and, you know, they're all going through their ministry things and all the different stuff that they got to do. And it's like, I just sat there going like, man, I feel so wonderfully privileged to not have those little demands and the warfare of all of just navigating through all that as distractions from the joy of relating the way I am right now to people and to the Lord. I don't have to sell anything. I don't have to make anyone go anywhere. You're selling the shack. What do you mean you don't sell anything? I answer the phone. I see. I'm not peddling something with the need that, oh, you better get this. I think that the joy of just going like, you know, I get to enjoy Jesus and you get to look like, well, you know, so you're going to re-engage and I used to do that to you, you know. And I just, I feel the joy of just being able to go, you know what, this is what God has for me and if God wants me to do something like that, well, I guess he'll show me and I'll make that real then. How many people are trying to win you back? Oh, I've had scores. I've got tons of you still prayed for me. I think everybody's given up on me. Have they? Well, you've been outside long enough that you've probably never come home. I'm not even sure I'm a believer anymore. Yeah, Christian. You got heretic of the year last year. Heretic of the year. I deserve it much more this year than last. I can tell you about a phone call I had last week because it just blew me away. A guy called up, he's local, it's from this area and I read some stuff I wrote and he goes, any groups around here promoting your materials? And I'm going, like, what do you mean, like a regular congregation kind of thing? Yeah. He goes, like a missions thing or something, like a mission outreach thing. I said, why? What do you need? He said, well, I said, I'm on sabbatical and I thought he was a business guy, so I went sabbatical professor-wise or even church-wise, but he's on sabbatical and during his sabbatical, he wants to change the church during his sabbatical and he's wanted to join an organization, a large organization that can influence the national discussion about how we should be doing church. And... It's just a bigger mouth strap. Oh, it was just... I'm sitting there listening to him going, okay, listen, you got to just stand first of all. People that are hungry for what you're hungry about are not in large organizations. Are not trying to build large organizations. And I mean, he couldn't get that. It was like, well then, how's God going to influence the world? You know what? I think it's... He just wanted to be head of a new deal. In the head, he wanted to work with something and he wanted to have credibility. He says, you know, I've made the circuit of the churches in this area and I can't find one of them in this area where people are growing and being transformed. They're just sitting in pews every time. That's not even true. Well, that's his experience. How are you to argue with him? They're growing just fine. Yeah, but that's not his experience. And so he's sitting there going to just dead. I send out letters to these pastors offering to help them reform their country. Oh, I bet those are neat. I never got a response back. And he's shocked about that. He's going, so I'm going to join some to have some validation credibility. And I said, well, you know, he said, how do you see God doing this? I said, I think people are following him. I think God's networking networks. He said, I mean something big. I mean, we got to change it. 95% of the church is meeting an abject failure. Well, yeah, that's good news. I probably wouldn't even argue with you about that. Most people don't... He said, I've been in the business world for 40 years. No one's ever talked to me about Jesus in the business. The church is not doing it. That needs to be, and I've got a plan, and we should be doing this. I'll just say this to you. He just needs a good night's sleep. First of all, I just said, no, I don't even think that would happen. Pickled in all things bad. I don't want to laugh at him because here's where I think he was genuinely stuck. The trouble is, I have a passion for the body of Christ. But by the body of Christ, he met Sunday morning meetings. How do we change those? He was going, you don't. They're there for a reason. They don't know there's anything different. You know what you're missing here? You're missing the giant army of God's people living there. I think every church has been confronted with changes in the way to think and do. Those people get marginalized and ask to leave and kind of, that's cute. We'd love to do that too, but it's impractical in the institution. I think every place, God has people all over the planet who have gone to pastors, who have gone to seminary presidents and said we should be educating a different kind of leadership for what the church needs in the 21st century. I do think those, I hear from them all the time. I know the voices are out there. What I'm saying is they get marginalized. To what she said, yes, we need to build an organization. To validate them. Not to validate, he said so they have power. Here's a quote. We need to build an organization to reach a national scale. What do you do? We have to do something. If you could see Wayne's hand in the way he's enunciating that. We gotta go video, huh? Video podcast someday. You know when I sat down and listened to this brother and my heart breaks for him because I think he is hungry for the right thing. I'm sure he's sincere, but he's still grabbing on to the old methodologies. I don't force anyone into this. That's just a huge lesson I learned. I'm a passionate guy. If I enjoyed it, everyone else should enjoy it. Now. I realize that's not helpful. That's not what the Holy Spirit is doing. I'm sure he had to bench me a little bit to say, hey, Brad, thanks. We're having fun. Shut up. Appreciate your effort. Moving the kingdom forward. And it's like, I realize, you're not blessing people when you pull them into the pool you're enjoying and you dunk them. I don't know a single person who that was great. You pegged our meter there, dude. You know, I mean, nobody does that. And I think that's where there's, you need the gentleness of the big, huge church administrator, the Holy Spirit. He says, you know what? I know what I'm doing in individuals. Trust me. You be available. You enjoy the life. Jump in the pool. Hey, the water's warm. I mean, be the living advertisement of how fun this is. But, see, he only had this limited six-month sabbatical time to do his freedom deal, to do his magic on the body of Christ and the earth, and a national level. He wanted to impact it nationally. What I saw with that, how do we do the things that we do so that, you know, we can, you know, everybody wants to nail the 95 thesis to the cathedral wall and do something that affects the reformation or whatever. But when Martin Luther King, Martin Luther King, Martin Luther, wow! That was an I Have a Dream deal. When Martin Luther nailed that was he back there? When he nailed that to the door of the cathedral, he wasn't trying to launch a reformation. No, because I'm pretty sure he'd be in the bar late on Saturday night drinking. If you're trying to launch a net, okay, watch a net. He needs a PR guy. Lutherans can reach Brad at the God Journey. Brad, at thegodjourney.com. That's why we have church at 11. But here's part of that trusting the head of the church or the Holy Spirit to put us in the family. And this is what changed for me, because it really is not we got to do something great to affect the church. It gets us anywhere. I think what we do is what is he asking me to do today? And when I have that perspective of whether it's solving world hunger or the AIDS crisis in Africa, the insurance companies ripping us off in Wall Street. How do I solve those problems? I haven't got a clue. I've got nothing. But when I wake up today to say what's Jesus after me? I love one of the passages that I think about when I talk to someone like this. Bless his heart, he was trying. And he had a new tool. Small groups would fix everything. That's the deal. I don't think small groups is it. I think what you would do on your sabbatical is what I told him. I think what you'd want to do on your sabbatical is just read the Gospels for six months. Find out what Jesus did to touch a world. What? No, no. I mean, there was no way to get through this guy. I said, you know what? He did things in small groups. He did not start small groups. That was not his tool. He introduced people to his father. Oh yeah, I know the God thing. That's important. And you know, I saw so much of him, me and him. Oh yeah, that's why I'm laughing, dude. I'm not laughing at him. I'm just going, I was that guy. I was that guy too. Daniel, for all the lovely bits we get in Daniel, and all these ecstatic revelations and visions and dreams at the end of the age, and this fall, and this fall, and Daniel's at the end of it going, all right. And remember what the angel says to him? He says, just go your way. Do what God gives you to do. This is what I'm doing. I'm not asking you to do this. And he said, but how do small groups of people affect large groups of people? And I just said, you know what? Heard of a book called The Shab. I said, okay, that explains a lot. But in any case, I said three brothers put that together because we felt like God asked us to. No clue or dreams of what it would do. And no plan to promote it, and no plan to start a national conversation about the nature of God. But I said, that's where we found ourselves. It wasn't us trying to get to that space. It was us simply acting in the day-to-day reality. See, I think one of the reasons we end up with all these regulated programs, and this is as much for what's called organic church with, you know, 180-page manuals to how to produce the organic church or simple church, but, you know, we got manuals for that too. I think one of the deals we can't think of God doing by the individual responses of a lot of people so that it has to have somebody at the top organizing, drawing resources and yet we've been doing that for 2,000 years and that hasn't helped us. No, it hasn't. And I really, I'm where Daniel is, you know what, I get to wake up every day and say Jesus, what's before me today? And I live in that space. Whether that impacts world hunger, if God asked me to have an investment in something going on in South Africa I can be there. And someone else gets an investment in Somalia or in Kenya or wherever. I think individual people acting responsive to Jesus and and we love that. I love when individual people following Jesus find other individuals following Jesus and begin to collaborate together in things that God wants them to do. But the goal is still not we've got to impact the culture the goal is still we've got to follow the King. I don't think you can mass produce intimacy with Jesus. I think that happens between a person small groups. I told you it's small groups. It's through a person and God and I think one of the things that I'm really excited about you know in terms of where the shat comes to a close is that invitation to a quiet revolution where if anything matters then everything matters. You know what? I don't have to be the general of the army. I don't have to strategize the war. I just got to do the thing that God asked me to do and I can pray if I got some extra time I can pray that everyone else does the same thing. And as God is genuinely moving in the hearts of individuals everything that he cares about is going to be done with a surgical intimate focus of reality. It's not mass produced and therefore you're just a number a cow on a herd on a hill it's that you know what? In that situation because there's a person that knows and cares and is involved in the details that person is going to feel so much more intimately loved when that's initiated by God because it's going to be personal it's going to be practical in that situation not a principle. And that's what I wanted to receive from the Gospels. My goodness look at the life of Jesus. Did he launch a strategy? No. No. Did he form an organization? No. No. Did he launch an institutional dynamic with clear rules and guidelines? No, never. He loved people hung out with people, God asked him he taught people how to live with his father he just loved folks right in front of him every day and that got done what God needed to get done. I look at the early church and I see something very similar although at times they tried to organize things and the things they organized the things they organized never came out very well. That's when they got fights. When they could just live and love together, walk together someone described it the other day as instead of like we're all on a bus going somewhere we're friends walking down a road together. And I think that has a ton more impact than whatever this guy and poor I'm sorry he called me. I know I know I know I'm frustrated you to no end. I hope you'll take a step back understand because every time he'd feed back to me what I'd said to him just to clear over his head that God can't really do this I want to do it for him and I've got the skills and I've got the until you're almost delivered from that I think to some degree in our excitement we do run past the prepared soil that the Holy Spirit has that I can plant in and I start trying to cram my shovel into just concrete and it doesn't work. I think when you can realize you know what the best I can do is be responsive to the opportunities in front of me. Do I got to create him? I don't think so anymore I used to try and I know I was sincere it was zealous passion but I think God had to almost free me from the anxious performance that was driving that the desire for some sort of achievement and thus I mean, yeah because I think what's behind it somewhere for so many of us I mean I think most of us particularly in quote-unquote pastoral ministry really got there because we wanted people to know the Jesus we knew but when it got to be then this institution becomes the expression of that now you've made a jump from I'm helping people grow in Christ to I am building an institution that is helping people grow in Christ when it doesn't the institution never never gives that personal touch of I love you and I care about you and I'll walk beside you until you get it and then why don't you go walk beside someone else till they get it and I'll go walk beside someone else I really do think that's the way this kingdom moves forward it doesn't move forward because finally someone's put the strategy out there that we can all embrace someone's finally created the institution with the model the answer to implement the congregation in the U.S. that will change everything because what will change everything is when people really connect with the Father through the Son that's what will change everything and when you give people a substitute for that I find number one they're willing to take it a lot of people are willing to take you don't have to walk with Jesus I'll tell you every Sunday what you need to know and do there are a lot of people say alright but for him for other people to say we've got to change we've got to start a school what have we ever started in the history of religion that produced the result for which we intended it over time I don't know it's not that it couldn't carry it for a season I think the best we do organizationally we do in about the first seven years I think that whole sabbatical thing should have come through the New Testament whatever you do sit out a year and reload I think that would be helpful I remember the first time I went to the symphony I was a little kid I can remember the first time because it was my last time I remember the first time I went to the symphony we got there early normally our family is never early but we got there early I was probably about seven or eight I remember sitting there and I watched how different people were showing up it wasn't full and they were tuning they were doing a thing I'm listening to this and I'm thinking like well this sucks it's not very good this is bad the reality is I was listening to the individual unsympathized sounds of people tuning their instrument and it just sounded like noise and the more people that came the more people that warmed up and did their thing the more noise and it's just kind of like the more people came in this makes no sense it didn't I'm not understanding what the big deal of the symphony is and then all of a sudden the conductor comes out taps it, everything goes quiet it's like just the quiet was different and then when he starts conducting the difference in sound was absolutely stunning I just remember that first crescendo it's not like I understood it all but you just have to go like oh my gosh, looking back I think so much of life when people are trying to do their deal if it really isn't the individual watching the conductor the Holy Spirit direct what the Holy Spirit is doing they're not different stuff, they're not playing they're not looking the same stuff they can't play each other's instrument if you'll do what he directs you to do I think the only guy that knows how to make beautiful music out of that is the Lord himself what little I know of music which is not extensive but I would think any one of those parts by itself wouldn't make any sense either if you just heard the oboes play that's making sense but it makes beautiful story-like music in the whole unfolding of it you're just going like wow, there's drama in that and what if that's what's going on right now see, I think it is spiritually, I think we're all looking for where's the church, where's the expression of it that we should all be replicating and God's going to end up giving you anything like that because that's not how it happens but I am all over the world tuning people, teaching them how to do their part their music is already playing I might be tuning, I might be doing my little deal but God has generations ago and for generations to come he's already got a beautiful symphony that is happening in the earth I just want to have the ears to hear it yeah and the freedom to do my part and not have to worry about the whole I think the guy that's so excited he's like guess what, I think the Holy Spirit is doing something in him it's part of that symphony I think he's not hearing the grand music that is happening he's thinking he's got to start it and it's like, you know what I think it's already happening and if I'll just settle into my chair just get my eyes fixed on that conductor I'm going to trust that you know what he knows how to make that happen for every other person in this grand symphony all over the earth and I just want to sit back and listen to the music there's a movie out there, August Rush if you haven't seen it I was mesmerized by it because I just thought there's something in there that captured something like that where you're just going like there's something beautiful that God is orchestrating and I'm glad I'm not so busy trying to conduct everyone else that's what we've got to stop doing conductor, number one, number two if we don't hear the music it's because we haven't been tuned to it yet so maybe I'm in the tuning time and I'm looking around for somebody else to copy don't, don't, don't, don't don't, please don't please puppy eyes, you're pleading don't, please don't do your part be at rest where he's called you to be right now but I do think this I think in five to ten years we're going to see expressions of the body of Christ emerge out of this it's not techniques and institutions ways brothers and sisters collaborate they'll bring great attention to the king and we may not be seeing those now because maybe we're just tuning up on stage